I’m feeling really bad tonight……I can’t stop crying, the children have seen me very distressed and I feel terrible. I’ve forced myself off my bed to come downstairs and try and act semi-normal. I had a legal call tonight and it seems that He may just have been a lot more calculating than I thought possible. Even down to having his new baby, there was a purpose to it….how awful and disgusting can someone be. How can I still be surprised and shocked at how low he will stoop……
It seems that a loophole will leave the children and I with nothing…..apparently what has been done is very hard to overturn…..how, why I cannot understand, especially when it is obvious to everyone this has all been planned. I just don’t have the money to fight this the way it needs fighting.
I can’t write anymore, I can barely breathe…….I hope I can sleep tonight and that tomorrow I will feel stronger because right now I feel weak, vulnerable and as though I have been kicked in the stomach. I just had to get this out…sorry.
What I don’t understand is how someone who is ‘off their head’ for a lot of the time can be so devious…..I really can’t comprehend that.
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
The guy is a right bastard, and I’d like to stick my boot up his backside.
Love you much,
SB
Me too…LOL.
XX
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
Darling Chic, I am so sorry to read this post. I just don’t know what to say. I too cannot understand how any man can behave this way to his children. He is obviously a very ill person and “The Bloody Tart” is a manipulative gold digging woman, and I suppose some comfort can be drawn knowing that one day, somewhere, somehow there will be a come back. It seems to me that they are intent on wearing you down to a point where you just don’t have the will or energy to fight anymore (or the money). How could a judge not be able to see what has happened, the law really is an ASS. I hope things improve for you..Please feel free to contact me any time and if there is any way in which I can help, even if it’s just for a rant, that’s fine. Sending you lots of love xx PS. Remember there is a whole community out here rooting for you
North West London Girl In The Country´s last blog ..A Golden Weekend
Thank you, you’re so right on all of it. We haven’t got to court yet…I’m just being told what is likely to happen. Everyone ( legal people) says it’s unfair but still….there should be a law to protect people in this situation. XXX
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
I cant imagine what he has done now, you know you can ring me anytime if you need to let off a little steam. Home number always better, if you haven’t got it text me I will text you it tomorrow. My thoughts and love are with you, sorry it took me so long to read this.. I have been so busy I have hardly been on line xxx
Ruth Johnston ( Wildernesschic)´s last blog ..Super Comments Award
Thank you Ruth….sometimes I just want to run away…feel better today. XX
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
I have been where you are – there’s no two ways about it, it’s s**t. All I can say is that things will change and change for the better. It is sickening and unbelievably twisted that he can get away with all of this, but I have found that what goes around comes around, and I strongly suspect that although things seem utterly bleak this situation will lead you to a life full of all the goods things that you want and need for yourself and your kids. It will take a bit of time, but not as long as you think…Go with the flow, keep your kids in the loop and make looking after yourself a priority. By the way, I’ve been reading your blog for a while but never posted before, chin up and take care.
Thank you for taking the time to read and to comment, I’m sorry you’ve had a hard time too…XX
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
i really hope tomorrow you feel better than today – you are having such a rough ride at the moment, but remember, what goes around……. stay strong xxx
elsie button´s last blog ..Outwitted
Thank you, I do feel a bit better today. Still worried, I scared myself with how I felt on Monday.
xx
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
oh lord poor you, reading this makes me less hopeful that l can get sorted…
it gets so complicated…the csa assure me they are onto it…and that chidlren are entitled to 15% each of their fathers income pro rata…spousal support is at approx 30%…so wtf is going on???
my son and l get a voluntary payment, though not cash, he pays the rent, which is 18% of his net salary……how do l know if that is fair? my income is a quarter of his…
l have no idea what to do..
saz x
saz´s last blog ..a bigger cup
I think my case is extreme….from what I’m being told anyway. I don’t think there are that many people that are quite so manipulating and evil. LOL….I didn’t realise that about the CSA- that means he’d be in negative with us if that was the case! x
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
I just wanted to say I always read your posts and you really shouldn’t apologise. Getting it off your chest is what blogging is all about.
I so wish there was something I could do to help you. Hang in there, this will pass and things will get better. You will get a new life for you and your kids and you will find happiness again.
Thank you, and thanks again……I’m scared and cannot wait to be where we are supposed to be so we can just get on with it. X
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
Even ‘off their heads’, they are devious people. That’s how they manage to con everybody. They are expert liars and will look into all possibilities so that they can get away with what they’re doing. Trust them to find a loophole somewhere that will help them. Bastard! Keep up the fight. I hope today will look better for you. It takes an awful lot of energy to fight as well as looking after your children and trying to hide your feelings from them. X
Foodie Mummy´s last blog ..Im still alive
they obviously are….unbelievable isn’t it.
Thank you, I appreciate all your thoughts. XXX
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
Chania says it – you have got to get financial help from other sources as your X is going to do everything he can to stop any monetary support for you and the children. And, of course, don’t forget that the New One is there in the background egging him on as she wants to protect herself too. I’m surprised how awful people can be – my X tried to steal our business from me and his New One almost convinced him that I should be locked away as I was crazy – well, I was! Running a busy business single handed and looking after two children and fighting off those two was enough to drive anyone to total and absolute craziness.
Could you try the Citizen’s Advice Bureau – they can’t sort out your divorce but they should be able to sort you out as far as your home is concerned and other financial stuff – and their advice is free (and they might be able to point you in the right direction and help you find a lawyer that is not going to rip you off and keep dragging their feet and getting more and more money out of you).
Don’t give up – there is a solution somewhere.
louise´s last blog ..FIRING SQUAD
That’s what is happening here…re business….which is why I am fighting. Thanks for the advice. XX
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
I genuinely thought that in the eys of the law, the children of the first marriage were given maintenance first and then what was left provided for the children who came after.
Chania’s words are very true, sending you the love
xx
auntiegwen´s last blog ..You know youre getting old when
That’s what I’ve been told too….this is very complicated,money is elsewhere….conveniently
Thank you. xx
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
I am sorry about this. I hope that tomorrow will be a better day in terms of emotions.
Syd´s last blog ..The retirement gig
Thank you Syd….I am better today.
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
Oh honey! I’m so sorry. I do agree w/Chania though – once you’ve absorbed this shock you need to look around to see what you need to do for you and the children realizing that he is not to be trusted as a source of help for you. But you need to badger the hell out of him to make sure that he pays every bit of maintenance that he was ordered to pay. Those children are his responsibility as well as yours. And if you don’t want to do it – then send ME his email address as I’m sure I have more than a few things I’d like to say to him…….
I’m so sorry you have to go through all this and I wish there was a way that I could help other than writing words of support and sending up prayers for you. xxx
Gigi´s last blog ..Caught
Thank you Gigi…..I’m doing better today, just get so angry with the unfairness of it all. XX
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
I wish I could find some words of comfort for you, or some source of advice or help. My experience is that people can be very devious even when ‘off their heads’ , in fact they can be more so as their plans become their obsession. For me things may be finally concluding, but my ex will still be doing extremely well. It doesn’t seem fair
Blue Sky´s last blog ..The Best Week Ever
They must be mustn’t they….I find it sooo hard to comprehend that though.
And it’s not fair….makes me sick how many of us there are! XX
Chic Mama´s last blog ..Children’s Party in aid of GOSH
I don’t know you ro your situation except for having read some of your posts. Out of adversity comes strength and the other side of misery is contentment. It appears you are better off without this jackass. I think now I would be looking to find out what support and assistance I can get financially and emotionally from every source that is NOT him. Then I would assure my children that everything will be alright (even if I don’t know it) and maintain for them the security of a loving parent and home.
You will find that other things will start to fall into place when he is longer the place you are looking to.
This may not make sense right now. It would be great to share a cup of tea with you. But I know just talking can ease your pain a little.:)
chania´s last blog ..A Contest – Call for Entries The Attraction of Simplicity
Definitely better off…thank you so much for your support. X
Obviously I don’t know the details of your case, but to really be left with nothing at all? You and his children? I am completely speechless. I can only wish you strength and hope and a miracle of some sorts.
(((Hugs)))
JulieB´s last blog ..Who Loves Ya- Ruby Woo
Thank you Julie, it’s complicated, we’ll be awarded maintenance but he won’t pay it….I know that, not what he’s supposed to anyway. We had a business and he looks set to walk away with it all. I write what’s going on in my head…I’m just in shock that someone can be allowed to get away with this and that they can do this to me and their children. I cannot put across how shocked I am. X
Sorry but this man is ‘really’ pissing me off big time..so can only imagine how you must feel at this news. I just don’t understand a ‘loophole’ that would allow nothing for his children..Big hugs xxx
Brighton Mum-Teenage Angst´s last blog ..A soothing afternoon strollwith NO Teens
I can’t write it here…..seems the baby is worth a lot though. How can he do that? XX
Jesus! Is it possible for you to get a second opinion on this?
Dad Who Writes´s last blog ..Hadrian’s Walk 5- Basically…
Thanks for commenting…this is my second opinion…seems as though I wasted my money getting to this stage. :0( I just can’t believe the law can allow this to happen.